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3 Funny Valentines Poems For Him

funny valentines poems for him

  1. It’s Valentine’s day,
    And it’s really quite silly;
    My feelings are switching around
    Willy-nilly.I’m happy, SO happy!
    Then I’m feeling SO sad;
    I’m gloomy, I’m joyful
    Oh man, this is bad!

    My body is clammy,
    Then I’m in a deep sweat;
    Sometimes I’m giddy,
    Sometimes I fret.

    I’m looking for comfort food
    Deep in the fridge;
    Often I think
    I could jump off a bridge.

    What is the reason
    For all the above?
    It’s Valentine’s Day,
    And I’m SO in love!

    By Joanna Fuchs


  2. As time goes by from year to year,
    One thing is surely true, my dear;
    Though decades come and decades go,
    Just seeing you sets me aglow.Time shifts my body; I start to sag,
    When I pass a mirror, it can make me gag.
    My joints all ache; I can hardly move;
    Still a smile from you, and I’m in the groove.

    Getting older can be a pain,
    But with you along, I can’t complain.
    Despite the things that we go through,
    I know I’ll never stop loving you.

    Your loving heart turns life to play,
    As we laugh at time from day to day.
    So I write this poem, and I’ll hang my sign,
    Saying, “Always Be My Valentine.”

    By Karl and Joanna Fuchs


  3. Collards is green, yer eyes ain’t blue
    I am so lucky to have a darlin’ like you.
    Ya kin strip a motor in just few minutes
    And still have time to go hunt supper and even skin it.
    We go together like a skunk and stink
    Ever time I see ya my eye starts to wink.
    Yer love fer me is like a roll of duct tape
    Ya hold me together each time I break.
    I love it when ya burp and fart
    It’s music to my ears that soothes my heart.
    And the sound of ya snorin’ right in my ear
    Always brings to my eye a big ol’ tear.
    Yer hair is soft like a dogs hairy knees
    But I’m sure happy you ain’t got no fleas!
    Yer chest is so purty and so is yer mouth
    And I can’t even tell ya how I love what is south.
    On them special occasions when you shave yer beard
    And clean all that hair from outta your ears
    I wanna take out and show ya off to the crowd
    Cuz when we go to town ya make me feel real proud.
    At night when ya hold me real, real tight like ya do
    I can smell on yer breath the scent of yer chew.
    I love yer kisses, ain’t none no wheres finer
    Ya taste like the road kill down at the diner.
    I’d go to the Walmart for Valentine’s Day
    But I got this bad itch that just won’t go away.
    So I ordered a special gift just for you
    It’s a purty ol’ used motor from Evinrude!

    By Denise Scott


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